Missed

So there's this guy I'm seeing. Well of course there's a guy.

I've met him the first time last night for iftar. I guess you could say that it was a date. More or less.

But here's the thing, i keep saying the wrong things. Like as if i can't shut this big mouth of mine.

Fuck.

Misery to Happiness

O my God, whenever You bestow a favour upon me, my appreciation thereof is minute; and whenever You afflict me with tribulation, my patience is short-lived. O One Whom though my appreciation of His favour is minute, He did not humiliate me, O One with Who though my patience is short-lived at His trial He did not punish me. O One Who sees me while in sin and does not expose me, O One Who removed me my hurt, to You be praise, You are the Bestower of Favour and to You is grace. 

Amin ya Rabb.

Me Before You

I'm the sort of person who tries not to watch movies (in cinema) during Ramadhan, which means, I am left with 4 days to date. Hence, the me-time-Me-Before-You-movie-session last night. You have to know I skipped gym for this! GYM! In the middle of NNGG!

I picked up Me Before You (novel) just a couple of weeks back. An easy read chic lit I managed to finish in 2 days. It's not my usual reading choice, but I figured to give a go since everyone else is reading it. Plus, the reviews are not bad either. 

I got hooked immediately after the first page. And just between me and you, I almost weeped on the final page.  Crying is my least favourite emotion. I'm not sure if it's fear or just plainly ego, but I'll try my very best to keep my waterworks clogged in. So I could say, this is partly the reason I stopped reading romance novels some time after 20. Booyah.

The impossible romance between Lou and Will arouses me in ways that I can't explain. It brings me fantasies that I can never imagine to have myself. But of course I am not talking about coition (if you have seen or read it, you'd know it's PG13). It's... ah.... I just can't put it into words. I don't feel this way often. The feelings are almost similar to The Time Traveller's Wife by Audry Niffenegger.

The most memorable part of the novel is when Lou freaked out in the maze and Will tried to calm her down.  He got so frustrated because his hands weren't moving to cuddle and comfort her as he desperately wanted to. Jojo Moyes succeeded in imposing deep emotions to the story. Unfortunately enough, the movie skipped that scene entirely. 

The movie also failed to complement Lou's effort in her researches and plans for Will. God, there's so much to the novel that the movie's not showing. But, I should've expected it. It's always the case on movie adaptions. 

All I could say is, if you haven't read it, READ IT NOW. Wth are you waiting for?

Contention

I have lack of skills in story telling. I use a lot of 'and then' or 'pastu' or 'so' and I won't know which points are worthy and interesting which usually ends up with me elaborating every bits of details, which I know, is boring and childish.

Here's an example. 

Last weekend I was back at my hometown, Singapore for Yana's wedding. This possibly could be one of the few moments for me to be absolutely envious in having a partner. To be honest, I do not know Mas Iwan personally, neither have I spoken to him directly before (to be fair, even Yana has only  met him merely 6 times before the wedding). Their courtship is somewhat strange in the traditional sense but almost hackneyed in this modern age. In short, they became friends via internet. He was in Mecca and she's in Singapore. 

Generally, Mas Iwan is the kind of husband a muslim girl would want. A decent guy, humbled with knowledge of the Quran. Yana didn't just get a husband, she got herself an imam and ustadz too. Alhamdulillah. 

I want that too. But additionally, I need someone who is active and be in the same game as I am. And I don't just want a teacher of religion, I want a teacher of life and languages. If I ever been given the choice to choose a race for a husband, I would absolutely skip my own race, not because I'm too proud for my own kind... Let me see if I can put this in an non offensive way.... I'd like to diversify. The world is too big to stick to just one option. Knowledge, culture, experience.... all that. 

And here I am mumbling about a partner in life when my initial intention was to share the bad experience I encountered in Singapore. 

It was my first day there. Ma, Qassih and I decided to take a walk outside our apartment to get food and to settle some other important stuff.  It was at 112 Katong shopping mall when I saw a basket of red plums as big as my fist. I took 2 pieces, one for Qassih and another for myself. I scout for the weighing counter but to no avail. I couldn't even find the transparent plastik sayur! So with the 2 plums in each hand, I walked to the cashier which was quite a walk from the fruits section. 

Ahead of me in the line was just one customer, so I thought, hey why not ask the cashier. She should know where the weighing counter's at. Let me give you an image of the customer before we go deeper into my  WTF story. She has an obese body figure, wearing polo shirt and a pair of shorts, short boyish hair cut with big boobs and an aunty but also a tomboy.  

Me: Excuse me Miss, do you know if I need to weigh.....

Aunty: *with the talk-to-the-hand gesture to my face* You don't disturb her. Let her focus on mine. You wait your turn. 

Me: But I only wanna ask if....

Aunty: NO. YOU WAIT. 

The cashier and I gave each other a look and just smiled. We both silently understood that this Aunty's a bitch. Few minutes had passed and the Aunty was still standing in the queue waiting for her turn to be done. The cashier had issues with Aunty's membership card and hence the shop manager was intercom-ed to come over. Whilst they were busy with her card, the Aunty turned to me with what I thought an apologetic look.

Aunty: I don't want you to interrupt her because later she confused with my items. Let her focus on her job.

Me: *with an absolute friendly smile* No, I actually just want to ask, if you would know if I......

Aunty: NO. I. DONT. *turned away from Ms Innocent me*

I got so confused with the whole situation. I really thought she was feeling some guilt. And when the manager was done and walked by us.....

Aunty: You go ask her whatever you wanna ask. You ask her now. You dont ask the cashier. You ask her. *with her arrogant face on*

And so I did. My conclusion to the whole situation is that she's a typical kiasu Singaporean (she even packed one apple each in one transparent plastic sayur. She bought SIX!) who's going through a rough time. I wonder what was playing in her mind at the time. Pity.